There once was a girl who did not gird her loins. She preferred to gild herself, wishing all she had was gold. Her desire took hold and plunged her into a hole. Hope sprung from within her as she would get her hops from her collection of slinky tops. This girl was very good at playing "Taps" while mixing various types of tars.
One day, she made the round of her local bars where she met herself a wonderful bard. Although he was bald, he was also very bold. Many stories this man had sold even though he suffered a chronic and constant cold. He was an odd man, quite out of the fold of society, choosing to drive some god awful Ford. He explained to the girl that he used to live in a fort, but was told to leave because of his obnoxious fart.
The girl soon left and headed to a farm, where she hoped to be out of the way of this man's flatulent harm. As she walked along the road she spied a large herm with a plaque that read "When you arrive, you are here." The girl walked a bit more and spotted a cattle herd being driven by large rancher men. When she neared them she swooned, but they paid her no heed. She was unaware but they were desperate to find a head.
The girl fell chasing the men, and injured herself and needed to heal. As she cried in the dirt, she questioned whether all this was real. She thought about how she wished she could read and not just shake her rear. The fear soon set in that she would forever be alone, but just then another cowboy rode by. He took one look at the girl, dismounted his horse and contemplated having his way with her. So the cowboy decided to tear the girls' teal Team Seam Seal shirt, and make of her a delicious sexy meal.
He clawed at his pants, revealing his meat, quite a feat that was hard to beat. The cowboy radiated heat, the girl could feel from her seat, and she looked at him expectantly. The cowboy took her to a nearby slat of wood, more comfortable than the dirt, and he gazed down at her young slit. And he bandied about, banging her til she shit. Then he came hard and she took the whole shot.
If only the girl, naive and young, had been taught to keep her mouth shut she would never have become such a slut.
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And here is how I arrived at such an absurd story.
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