I Have Written My First Children's Story

Perry the Pedantic Pachyderm

Perry the pedantic pachyderm lived alone on a hill. There were petunias near his pond and Perry loved them. He would smell them daily and enjoyed reciting their classification Solanaceae Petunioideae as he drank his morning water.

Perry lived by himself because the other elephants hated him for being so smart and grew tired of his contsant need to show off his superior intellect. And though he got lonely sometimes, Perry never forgot that the others did not like him. Even though he was alone, Perry the pedantic pachyderm was happy.

One day, Perry was walking in the forest and came upon a rabid monkey in the trees. Because Perry had spent time alone, he had watched humans all his life.

He knew they were smart and had learned by watching that the monkey was sick. So Perry decided he would take the monkey home and perform surgery on him to fix the sick monkey.

Perry convinced the sick monkey to trust him and that he could help make the monkey better. The monkey did not understand Perry the pedantic pachyderm as monkeys do not speak elephant language.

With his mighty trunk, Perry lifted the monkey high into the air and carried him along the long journey back to Perry's home.

Even though Perry was as knowledgeable as any other creature, he was still an elephant. On the trip home, Perry the pedantic pachyderm began to daydream about the other elephants and how they would be jealous of him, and praise him for being so intelligent.

 It was at this moment, while Perry was daydreaming, as elephants often do, that the rabid monkey became even more rabid. He became an uncontrollable beast of furry fury, contorting his body about unnaturally and thrashing most violently. And the rabid monkey bit Perry the pedantic pachyderm on his trunk, infecting him with his rabidness.

Perry dropped the rabid monkey in reflex to the feeling of pain and ran away quickly, anxious to get home. When he got home, Perry the pedantic pachyderm realized what a mistake he ahd made in trying to help a stupid monkey infected with rabies. He began to think about what he had done and what had happened.

At that moment, Perry realized another thing he had done wrong. He had run home. He had run hard and he had run fast. Perry the pedantic pachyderm cried as he realized this because running sends the rabies to your body faster than normal.

So Perry the pedantic pachyderm wept and he lay down, waiting to die from his horrible disease.


THE END.