22 July 2011

I Am An Asshole...So What?

As many of you, the dedicated and avid non-readers of my blog that you are, may know from previous posts, my "sister" recently brought forth life on this planet. For those that don't know, I refer you to the following previous posts, Undesirable and Conflict of Interest for full back story (if you care about such things). Anyway, the child is, for all practical purposes, decently cute. I wouldn't say that I love the bugger, mostly because I have only seen him a handful of times due to my sister's domestic incarceration enforced by her "boyfriend," but I can't hold anything against the defenseless child.

Well according to my parental units, the poor kid has been having some sort of intestinal distress for the past few months. Sucks for him. I have postulated on many occasions that the reason for this is because he can sense that his "home" is full of nothing but distrustful, hateful, lesions on society who do nothing but bicker, fight, and ignore that they have created nothing but turmoil in this lifetime; children can sense that sort of thing so it's not that much of a stretch. So, the poor child has been unable to stomach formula and the like and even when he does keep it, he then becomes incredibly constipated (according to my mother).

So the other day I was perusing ye olde Facebook, as we have all been conditioned to do now, and came across a post on my wall from said "sister." She had apparently done something responsible and actually taken her child to the doctor to find the source of his turmoil. The doctor has come to the conclusion that the child has a milk protein allergy. Hooray, right? The cause has been found! Let us all rejoice in the streets, singing songs of praise to the doctor and dancing 'round the maypole!


While I am glad that the child has been tended to as best can be by taking him to a doctor, and that some reason has been given for his plight, I fail to understand why this should be a cause for happiness. Granted now that this information is out there, steps can be taken to prevent the child from contacting milk thus eliminating his troublesome bowels. But part of me doubts that this is the true cause of his ailing.

Allergies can develop seemingly out of the blue, this is true. However, for one to be susceptible to the effects of allergens, there must be a deeper root cause. Not only that, but based upon my own, somewhat limited, knowledge of anatomy and biology, the allergy could merely have served as the trigger for a more serious ailment. My money, what little I would wager, is on that the child suffers from a disruption of his peristaltic musculature as result of having been prematurely birthed, and the allergy simply agitated this and now takes the blame.

Of course this is a stretch, but not all together unlikely, especially because the true root cause for all his turmoils is the following: inferior genetic design.

Now, before you get all huffy and start thinking I am one of those crazy "pure blood, super race" people, I am not. However, it just makes sense that any offspring from a deficient genetic pool will not only have the same defects, but will, thanks to evolutionary speciation, introduce new defects into the population. And seeing as how my sister's child (unwillingly my nephew), is not the eldest child of this unholy union but the sixth such donation from the deficient sperm donor, the idea that the sperm used to conceive was incredibly inferior and broken is not far off.

Survival of the fittest, the greatest ideation of evolutionary thought, states that all who do not adapt or are not capable of being the best will die. Therefore, the sperm used to create my sister's child was one of those left behind on several occasions because it was slow, stupid, or forgot to move forward the previous five times. Admittedly, this could have been a calculated move by that sperm to wait until the time was right where he would be the most superior of the deficient sperms still locked away in the testicle staging area. Whereby he would then be the most superior of the least intelligently designed and broken sperms reserves. Leading us to where we are now, with a poor innocent child who is genetically defunct because of repeated offenses by a negligent criminal rapist.

That poor kid had better be a sports god or he has no hope in life.

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